I Hate You
by MuchaLuchaAndMe
Summary: Love is a strange thing. Sometimes you can like someone, and they like you back. Sometimes they don't. And sometimes, you just have to fight for it. EdwardXGretchen CANCELLED
1. Welcome To Our World

**Well, this is my second story here, and I gotta apologize ahead of time, 'cause I'm probably not gonna update a lot, so… I'M SO SOOORRRRRRYYYYYY!!!! I'M SO TERRIBLY HORRIBLE!!! I SHOULDN'T WRITE A STORY IF I CAN'T COMMIT TO IT!!!!! WAHHHHH!!! **

…

**Ok, I'm done. Enjoy! Oh yea, before I forget**

**Can of Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Lazlo. Joe does. Joe likes coffee. He made Camp Lazlo. I made this story. I don't like coffee.**

**XOXO**

Welcome to Camp Kidney! The place named after both a body's organ, and a bean at the same time. The place where cute, fluffy, woodland creatures get together each summer for frolic and fun. Run by Scoutmaster Lumpus, his co-counselor, Slinkman, this small piece of paradise on beautiful Leaky Lake is perfec-

"I hate you!"

"Your stupid!"

"No you are!"

"You!"

"You!!"

"You!!!"

"YOU!!!"

"Your so stupid that you pull on a push door and still manage to get hit on the head by it EVEN WHEN IT WON'T OPEN!"

"Oh… oh yea?! Well… YOU'RE STUPID!!!"

"No, YOU'RE STUPIDER!!!"

Err, almost perfect. You see, there's another camp called Acorn Flats, located right smack-dab on the other side of Leaky Lake. It's a girl's camp, and every so often they come by to cause ether mayhem, or flirt. Well, Patsy's really the only one who flirts… right now its just mayhem. Caused by whom, you ask? Why, by Edward and Gretchen! They are the grumps of both camps, and hating basically everyone! Except for Patsy and Nina, Gretchen's two best friends. Oh, wait a minute; you probably don't which one's which! Well, silly goose, Gretchen's the green alligator who said that door comment, and Edwards the duck that yelled you're stupid! See, they're always fighting, and that's basically all they ever do. Is fight. Now lets get back to the action!

Edward and Gretchen stood miles apart from each other, in a very dramatic western… thingy… pose. Panting from the insults shot back and forth, sweat dripping down their brow, nether about to fall.

"Give it up, little girl. You'll never beat me."

"Heh. You should know me better by now."

Still at a standstill, nether of them moving, nether of them cracking under the pressure, just pure hatred from one to the other. At least, until _he_ arrived.

"Heya, guys!" It was the the orange little spider monkey that we all know and(maybe) love!

"Stay out of this, Lazlo. It's none of your business" Edward said without looking at a disappointed Lazlo.

"But can't we all just get alon-"

"NO!" And that was the one phrase Edward and Gretchen would ever agree on. At least, for a while.

Lazlo smiled, "Looks like somebody needs a h_uu_uugg!"

Edward's terrified switch: ON.

"Lazlo, no." Edward backed away from the approaching Lazlo. "I mean it, Lazlo!" He kept going and going… "Seriously! Cut it OUT! If you don't stop, I'm gonna-" Edward fell back, and in an orange blur, Edward was laying there, screaming in pure terror, for the love he felt was so strong, it burned his skin.

Gretchen, on the other hand, was also in intense pain and on the floor. But not from hugs, but from laughter. At least, until she heard the ring of her two friends voices, calling her name.

"Gretchen!" Said Patsy

"GRETCHEN!" Repeated Nina

The two girls were walking side by side, cupping their mouths, still calling her name over and over again. Gretchen, stilling giggling, stood up and brushed whatever dirt was left on her green body. She brushed her hair back and walked off.

"THIS ISN'T OVER!" Edward called, still stuck on the ground by Lazlo, "YOU WILL BOW TO ME, YOU HEAR?!"

"SHADDUP ALREADY!" Gretchen smiling as she said, of course, Edward couldn't see that. Right?

Oh yea, and Patsy blew Lazlo a kiss.

**XOXO**

"So…?"

"What?" They all were walking back to their camp, Gretchen, Nina and Patsy. Nina giggled, along with Patsy. "You know… your time with Edward! We both know you like him!"

"Shhh! Not so loud!" Gretchen looked around cautiously; making sure no one but them was there. "Welllll…?" Gretchen looked to the ground and turned to a faded red, "It was… nice…" a slight smile was on her face. Patsy giggled, "DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!" Gretchen yelled stomping off, acting angry, but those two knew better. They could tell she was in lala land right now. She always got like this after her daily visits at Camp Kidney.

"Lazlo?"

"Yes Edward?"

"Would you please get off of me?"

"Sure Edward."

"Oh, one more thing."

"What is it Edward?"

"I hate you Lazlo."

**XOXO**

**Alright! The firsts chapter is done! Oh, and I believe that this is the first EdwardXGret-chan(Pet name for Gretchen. xP) fic out there! So yea! Oh, don't forget to comment, and I accept ALL comments, even people who don't have an account here! And I love to hear how I could make this better, so yea… TELLLLLL MEEEEEE!!!**

**-M.L**


	2. Nobody but Me

**YEA! SECOND CHAPTER! Well, I feel proud right now. Until I get my Suite Life story out there, This is my first actually many chapter (Besides The New Girl) story I've made! Wheeeeee! Well, anyways, I thank you for reviews. I try to reply to each one I get, but if I can't… I apologize**.

**Can of Disclaimer: Joe Hurrah owns Camp Lazlo. I own this sotry. Story. I accidentally mistype story sotry… Oo Sprays can**

**XOXO**

The morning sun rose, as did I. I knew it was to early to be getting up(I could tell because of my sleeping cabin mates), didn't really matter, 'tho. Groggy and nasty feeling, I yawned and sat up. I had to take a shower.

Towel in hand, soap in the other, I made my way down to the showers. Five minute walk, mainly 'cause I stopped by to kick something. Some_things_. Guess it's been just apart of me to be loud, selfish, and a jerk. Gets kind of… lonely… guess that's where _he_ comes in… just like me…

I stood there in the shower, pondering my thoughts for a while. Thoughts of him. The cold water reminded me of his cold blood. It made me giggle with excitement.

The water shut off, fully dressed, and standing in front of the mirror. My hairs much longer when it's not dry. Not pondering it for long, I grabbed my curler and did my regular routine. Just doing it earlier than usual. Usually, Patsy and Nina would be running their mouths 'till they broke. Of course, I'd have to talk back. I rarely ever have time to think like this… I swear, a girl can never get some alone time.

Done, I walked out to the deck. It's beautiful about this time. There's only been one time when I've seen this view before… I remember it well… happened about three years ago when my parents got into a bad accident… heh… didn't know how to swim back then, ether…

**_Three Years Ago_**

_Tears streaming down her cheek, crying nonstop. "Mommy… Daddy…" Gretchen sat on the edge of the Acorn Flats dock, "Don't d-die… or else… or else…" she sobbed on and on, she just couldn't stop. It's a hard burden for a nine year old. Her parents were about to die. "Please don't die… or… or else I-I'll join you t-two…" Knees to her chest, she rubbed her eyes to stop the tears flow, but to no avail. But then she stopped. "I'll join you two…" looking down in the water, she saw her face. Puffy and red she stood, "Join…" and then she started falling._

"_Hey! Missy!" she stopped, did someone just called to her? She shook it off and gave it no attention. "Hey! I'm talkin' to you! What're ya? Deaf?" She turned at this. Her vision was blurred by the tears, but she saw the figure of a boy her age. "A… duck?" "What? No! I'm a Plata…plata…ummm…" "Platapus?" "Yea! That! Now anyways, what the heck were you doing?" 'Muh… My mommy and daddy are dying… an… and I'm g-gonna join them! S-so don't tuh try to- to stop me!" Gretchen started to back up and then she fell. Further and further, until the darkness consumed her._

'_Light…?' She sat up. "Is this… Heaven?" "No, you dumbbell, this is Acorn Flats." Shock, and confusion caused her to cough up water. "But… I fell… I should've died." "Well, you would've if I hadn't saved your skin." "You idiot! I was about to be with my Mommy and Daddy! They might die! I can't be with them no-" at that moment, a fist made contact with the scalp of her head. Hardly. "Owww…" Grasping her head in pain, she shot a glare at him, "What was that-" "Who's the idiot here?! Me, or the girl who almost killed herself 'cause her stupid parents **might** die! And what if they hadn't? Then what?!" Gretchen sat there in complete shock, happiness in her veins, she stood up and pointed a finger at the Duck. Platypus. Thing. "You are, 'cause Gretchen is no idiot, Idiot!" He stood in response, "No way! Edward is no idiot, so **you're **the idiot!"_

"_You are!"_

"_You are!!"_

"_You are!!!"_

"_YOU ARE!!!!"_

_Panting, they tackled each other and started beating each other up. 'So his name is Edward, huh?' as she hide her happy face with anger as their wrestling continued, as the sun painted the sky orange, red, and yellow._

_**Back in the Present**_

She chuckled under her breath. Didn't know Nina or Patsy back then. Back then; Edward was the only one who comforted me. 'Course, nobody would know that.

At least, nobody but me.

**XOXO**

**MY SECOND CHAPTER! COMPLETED! Now, please, all reviews welcomed. Even the occasional **_**bad**_** one is wanted. But please, tell me what you did or didn't like. I want to make this the best it could possibly be!**

**Well, Gretchen was rather the dark nine year old. Added for a good way to show how they met. But, seriously, this chapter was much too dark. Next chapter had better be funnier, or else .**

**Well, this chapter is actually pretty interesting. Before, I thought of making it, Gretchen's Fatalistic. Now, it's Nobody but Me. I just felt it fit better. Well, what do you think? Until next chapter!**

**-M.L.**

**P.S. **_**What do you like better for a shorter name for EdwardXGretchen? Edchen or Gretward? I can't decide…**_


	3. Somebody Important

**Now it's Edward turn! Yea, this is a POV chapter. Probably won't be that funny… but the next one **_**will**_** be! I swear!**

**Please forgive meeeeeeeeeeee! Ok, now lets get down the Disclaimer in a Can!**

**Can of Disclaimer: Joe Curry owns Camp Lazlo; I own this story and a microwave. Actually, I don't own a microwave… just this story…**

**DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!!!**

**XOXO**

'_Morning again…'_ I'll admit it; it's not something I look forward to some days. Being in dreamland is better then being the real life. No problems… no worries… at least, that's something I would've said until _she_ came along. It was always the same. Gretchen stopped by and gave me something to work for during my life. Nobody _ever_ could stand against me (Except for that creepy spider monkey, Lazlo), and… it was odd. It didn't make me sad… or angry. I think it's the only time when I've felt… happy.

Not like it matters.

It's not good to feel joy. Well, at least not for me. So it's a bad thing. But wait… if it's bad, then it's good for me, but then if it's good it's bad, but bad is good but… but… OH WHATEVER! YOU UNDERSTAND!

"Hee hee… socks…" I looked at Chip, the Dung Beetle twin that had just spoken, "Sleep talking again…" Yawning, I walked out. Had no clue what time it is, but my intuition tells me that Lumpus'll be screaming his head off to get up now, 'cause there's going to be an announcement about what not. I could care less, and I did. I found my camps own old, moldy, rusted dock and sat down. I looked across the water to a figure straight across from me. "Humph… some Squirrel Girl got up too…" I yawned just before the clock struck eight, and just as I knew it, Lumpus came on yelling to get up, and gather in the Mess Hall. He had a special announcement to make there. "So predictable…"

I was the first one there, but I knew it wouldn't last. _'Sigh… better plug my ears before the screaming mob comes in…'_ and before you knew it, I had pulled out my earplugs and had stuffed them in my ear_drums_. Well, right as usual today, a mob came in 'screaming' in a sense, because all the chatter put together made for a _very_ loud noise. I could still slightly hear it, which makes it perfect, because then I could hear Lumpus shout silence and that would be the time to remove my sacred object. Which happened five minutes later.

"SILENCE!!!" I pull my wonderful plugs out and put on a very irritated plus bored look on my face.

Perfect.

"Ahem… the announcement I have for you today is that it is now the annual Camp War."

I missed the time I had alone already.

"It's where our camps go against Acorn Flats with toy guns. You know, the super suctiony one? Well, anyways, more will be explained there, so I expect you to be in peak physical shape. That'll be all."

"Tch, and I could've had a great nap if he kept talking…"

"Oh yea! Scoutmaster Lumpus is a great story teller!"

'_Oh dear god, NO. Not him!'_

Oh dear god, YES. It _was_ him.

"Lazlo." I snarled out. Hadn't even noticed that orange fur ball was there.

"What do you want?"

"Why absolutely nothing Edward! You just looked lonely by yourself!"

"Lazlo, I wasn't _lonely._ I was quite content sitting here alone."

"You were content? Good thing my friends came along!"

Great. Lazlo doesn't know what content means.

Wait a minute… "Friends? You mean you brought… _more?_" I shuddered at the mere thought.

"Yup!" And sure enough, there they were. An idiot Rhino was sitting right to the left of me, and that pink elephant to the right of Lazlo clinging to him.

"Edward, you remember Clam and Raj."

I slapped my face and slowly drew it downwards, "Yes, I know Clam and Raj" speaking through my distorted face was difficult, but I did make it easy to understand.

"Hi."

"Lazlo, I do not like him. He is looking at me funny!" Raj, still clinging to a laughing Lazlo, shivered. And he was right. I _was_ looking at him funny. Glaring at him, to be precise.

"Silly Raj. He always looks like that! You know that."

"Yes, but this time is especially _creeeeppppyyyyyyy"_ He whined that out that last word at an irritatingly high note. And that was it.

I stood, trying to keep my cool. "Excuse me, _gentlemen_, I'm going to burn my ears now."

"Oh, cool! Do you need any help?"

"No thank you, _Lazlo_. If you came along, I'd also have to douse them in lighter fluid as well."

"Well… ok. But if you need anything, don't be a stranger!"

Walking back, I paid no attention to the waving Lazlo, Clam, and simpering Raj. And normally, I would burn my ears, but I needed them to hear her voice again. WAIT!

I punched myself in the face.

"Don't ever think like that again! …_Darn it… that hurt…_" I placed my jaw back in place before I headed back to the lake. The black figure was gone, but I felt it was someone important…

To me.

**XOXO**

**Wow. Edwards too sappy. 'Course, he's masochistic too. Huh.**

**Well, Lumpus finally got into the picture. Wonder what the rules are gonna be, and how the game'll work…**

**WAIT! I'm making the story so I should know! **

…

**Right?**

**Well, anyways, review please! I really wanna make this story the best it can be, and I can't do that unless somebody reviews!**

**But who was that figure, I wonder…**

**Oh yea, I finally introduced Clam and Raj, and I think I did a good job with Raj… I dunno 'tho…**

**ENOUGH CHATTER NOW! **

**Until I get off my lazy butt and write the next chapter!**

**-M.L.**


	4. It's Time

**It's a me! The author!**

**Well, man, I gotta tell ya. I wrote this chapter like, last minute. I'm just glad I got it up on Tuesday. The day I try to post each chapter.**

**This week was… hectic. I mean, have to bake cupcakes and brownies when your parents won't take you to the store… it's just rough.**

**But, putting the sugary sweets aside, here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy!**

**Can of Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Lazlo, Joey does. I own this story, Joey doesn't.**

**XOXO**

It was a warm, happy day in the Jelly cabin. Lazlo, Raj and Clam were bouncing on their beads in…

Various…

Positions talking about what the 'game' today was going to be like.

"I hope it's fun!" Lazlo said bouncing in the- well, you don't wanna know what position.

"Fun!" Clam chirped in.

"Well, whatever it is, I do hope it does not involve pain. I am allergic to pain." Raj replied shivering at the mere thought.

"Me too!" Sampson said clinging to one of the screen windows.

"Sampson, nobody cares about you." Raj said looking at the furry Gerbil

"Oh… merph…" Sampson walked off sadly.

"Aw, c'mon, Raj!" Lazlo stopped bouncing for a moment, "Pain is an ad_venture_."

"Yes, but do you not remember the time we went on one of your crazy ad_ventures_? WE MET TWO CRAZY OLD MEN AND I GOT A MAP ON MY BUTT! A MAP!!! I… I never got over that…"

"Never…" Clam repeated.

"Aw, bug bites aren't that bad!" Lazlo began to jump again

"Oh, _really_? Then why don't _you_ go a week with an ITCHY BUTT!" Raj stopped jumping to scream in Lazlo's general direction. He turned to have his back to Lazlo and began pouting.

"I see your point." Lazlo kept jumping, thinking of solutions.

And one came to mind.

"Why not bring bug spray?"

Raj pondered that for a moment.

And then he stood and turned to face Lazlo.

"Wow, Lazlo! I would've never thought of that!"

And he wasn't lying.

He really wouldn't have.

And so the jelly trio jumped to their hearts content giggling, laughing, and talking. Oh, how simple the mind of those three.

Not that I'm one to talk.

**XOXO**

Lumpus had now ordered everyone one at camp to 'MOVE YOUR LAZY BUTTS TO THE DOCKS AND LOAD 'EM ON THE BOATS!'

They did as he said.

There was about 4 boats completely jam packed with Kidney campers, talking their heads off. All but one. The only words he whispered were…

"It's time."

**XOXO **

**Making Christmas, making Christmas, making Chrriiiistmas…**

**Erk… um, sorry, just got finish with watching Tim Burtons 'Nightmare Before Christmas'… **

**So, um, This chapter is too dang short. But, it featured the Jelly Belly's! I dunno why but… Clam is rather… the silent one, eh?**

**Poor Sampson…**

**So, tell what you think! )**

**Oh, and since this chapter was so short, the next one will be super duper long!**

**Until next Tuesday!**

**-M.L.**


	5. It's Game Time

**Fifth chapter! WHEEEE!**

**But, MAN, this chapter is gonna be long. I can just feel it in my bones! Oh yes, I thank you all for your supporting reviews; it makes me very glad that you are enjoying this story! I really thought It would've failed because of not getting reviews…**

**Or me just never updating it.**

**Well, I don't want to write a whole page of me… talking, so I'll get to… the… spray.**

**Can of Disclaimer: MATH TIME! Camp+Lazlo Joe Murray**

**I+Hate+You M.L.!**

**YAY!!!**

**XOXO**

The boats seemed to slowly creek across the water. The wind blew an erie chill across the freezing lake. Ms. Mucus saw them and snarled. Oh, how she hated them. The horn was turned on, and all the girls knew what that meant.

"They're here…"

The boats docked, the girls all stood in a straight line. Smirking, every last one of them.

"Well, lookit at the little girlys who decided to show up." A glare and a grin put together equaled one creepy face on a pig who hates Bean Scouts. The girls all laughed, the same expression on their face.

The boys shivered.

"C-cooties…" Dave whispered to his brother.

This position lasted for a while until _she_ showed up.

"Oh my, look at all these young Bean Scouts! So young! Oh, welcome to our camp! We're so glad to have you here, aren't we girls?" It was none other then Jane Doe, the Scout mistress of Acorn Flats, and the actually only… um… girlish girl there.

They all stayed silent staring at the odd person they all had to obey, but never actually did.

"Ah, miss Doe!" Lumpus jumped off the boat to greet his beautiful flower.

Oh yes, did I mention that Jane is Lumpus's object of affection? I didn't? Well, she is.

"Oh, scoutmaster! How good to see you!" She reached her hand out to shake with the approching moose.

"Like wise, my dear." He shook her hand and tried to kiss it, but she pulled it away without realizing it.

"Now where did three of my girls go?" She was scanning the line, worried that something might've happened. Lumpus was crying on Slinkmans shoulder, whining out why in a very irritating manner.

"We're over her, Miss Doe!"

It was Patsy Smiles. One of Acorn Flats only really known girl, besides Nina and Gretchen, who were just two steps behind her. She noticed Lazlo and waved seductively.

Lazlo saw, and just waved 'cause… Well, you know, he's Lazlo. He likes to wave.

…

A lot.

"_Ekk!" _Pasty shrieked silently to her two buddies. "_Did you see that? He waved!_"

Gretchen rolled her eyes and started off, her friends close behind. She stopped right in front of one particular scout.

"Ready to meet your maker, Duck?" Gretchen said, face in front of Edwards.

"Bring it." Edward replied grinning.

Evilly, of course.

Gretchen snorted before turning back around to join with her friends again. A few moments passed and they were all at the giant picnic table, ready to hear how to play the game, and ready to play it.

"All right now, children. Settle down." Jane began.

"Now, as you all know, today is the big annual Camp War!" She stopped talking, apparently waiting for some kind of applause.

"Ah ha ha. Anyways, we will be dressing you up in plastic. Lots and lots and lots of plastic. Why? Because we will be using these suction cup toy guns to shoot each other with! Now, since this is your … 3rd year doing this, I'm going to tell you The Rules. Ha ha, won't that be fun?"

Once again, she paused for a noise of any sort, but all she got was a cough and a sneeze.

"Ha ha ha." She clapped her hands together. "Anyways, it's boys VS. girls and what happens if you get shot is your out! The object of the game is first team out of team members is, well, out! Doesn't that sound fun?"

And she then waited once more.

She sighed. "The winner gets this really big trophy."

And then there it was. A gold trophy with a toy gun on the top. The crowd went wild.

"Now, everyone, grab a gun and one of those plastic covers and begin!"

Everyone ran off to get their items except for three. Lazlo, Raj, and Clam. They were… well, actually, I don't know what they were doing.

"There should only be…" Lazlo closed his eyes with his buddies, and they looked almost like they were meditating. At least, the best meditate you can do on a bench.

"Peace…" Raj said

"Love…" Clam nodded

"Alright!" Lazlo began, "Now that that's settled, lets get out toys and _**play**_!"

Then they ran off, cheering the whole way, jumping and singing as well.

**XOXO**

Well, as it turns out, all they're supposed to wear are these giant plastic slip thingies… you know, kinda like the things you wear when you strip down at the docter? Except it was made with pure plastic.

So… it was a little heavy.

Now, the beans and squirrels were on opposite sides of each other, but those tiny toy guns couldn't reach that far. So they'd have to charge as soon as…

There was a banging noise.

Well, when they hear that banging noise.

The Girls charged to the boys, but the boys ran away. Ping-pong was the first to get out (His neck got stuck on a tree branch.), But, don't think that the girls were the only ones making outs. Sampson went crazy from fear and got two random generated girls, until Patsy got him. For some reason, he passed out.

"Sleep tight…" She whispered in his ear before running off to get back in the game.

Hours seemed to pass, one after one girls and boys alike were out. Almost each team's member was out, except for two: Edward and Gretchen.

At a stand still, they glared at each other.

"Heh. Just like always, isn't it? Except for one thing…" Edward said, finger on his trigger.

"What?" Gretchen growled out.

"This time, I'm going to win." And quicker than the eye could see, he fired. Gretchen only dodging it by inches.

It had begun.

Running parallel to each other they ran, firing, reloding, and dodging. Edward climb the trees and shot down at a clueless Gretchen.

Clueless 'till she caught his smell.

By instinct she rolled back and shot up at Solid Platypus. Edward jumped back, missing it by millimeters.

Hiding, rigging, rolling, all happening in this battle between camps. The only thing is, they both only had one suction shot left. No more pointless shooting for them, this one had to be the last.

"Heh, down on your last bullet, girly? Ready to give?" Edward said panting from the intense exorcise.

"Not on your life, Donald." Gretchen smirked.

Edward snapped at that and started running towards her, and it seemed like he was going to explode from it all.

"_So predictable…_" she mumbled.

Closer he came, and easier it began to aim. When he was almost right in her face, she closed her eyes and fired. She smirked. She had one. Girls had rein supreme!

"Gotcha." She said smirking. She had won. Girls had rein supreme!

"Not quite."

"Wha-?" Gretchen turned her head to come face to face with Edward the Platypus. The sun was hitting him at the right angle so his out line was glowing, but the rest of him was a dark, shadowy figure. The two things she could make out was his wonderful, cocky grin, and his gun, right in her face.

"Game over." He fired. Slow motion seemed to happen as the bullet came to her, sticking on her freakishly green forhead. It was hard for her to snarl out thelast words she'd say for a while.

"I hate you." She then fell back. For dramatic reasons, of course.

But, their was no cheering except for the Jelly's. You see, that fight took a couple of hours and everyone but those three left. Even the scoutmaster and mistress had left them to 'talk'. Edward had no choice but to walk in their direction. Mainly, because they were in the way of the forest to get back to camp. Everybody else left with the boats...

"Sigh… I really do not get it." Raj stated looking at the approaching Edward.

"Get what?" Edward asked, glaring, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Why Gretchen likes you. I mean, she should like Clam! He is a reptile." Raj said sighing and putting his arms on his thigh.

"What-? No he isn't!" Edward couldn't help reacting oddly. He... he does that alot.

"Oh really? Then what _is_ he then?" Raj said in a matter of fact tone of voice

"He's a Rhino!" Edward yelled flailing his arms a bit in the pink elephants face.

"Yes. He is a Reptile." Raj said standing in the panting Edwards face.

"Yea, but so is Edward." Lazlo interupted

"How?" Raj replied

"He's a duck!" Lazlo laughed out.

"No, Lazlo, he is an Amphibian." Raj said shaking his head.

"Oh, really?" Lazlo asked curiously

"Yes, everybody knows ducks are Amphibians." Raj replied. Again.

"Wha-? Ducks aren't Amphibians! AND I'M NOT A DUCK!!!!" Edward yelled, irritated at them ignoring him.

"Oh _really_? Then what are you? A _platypus_? Please." Raj rolled his eyes. He... really didn't think he was a Platypus.

"I _AM_ A PLATYPUS!!!" Edward said screaming in Raj's face.

"Oh… so… then what are you?" Lazlo pondered, pointing at the looking like he was about to explode Edward.

"I'm in my own category." Edward said, seemingly proud. Almost like that made him superior.

"So… more reason that Gretchen should like Clam. They are both Reptiles." You could tell Raj was really trying hard to make sense of all this.

"RHINOS ARE NOT REPTILES! THEY'RE MAMMALS LIKE YOU AND LAZLO!" Edward should really… you know… stop yelling.

"So… then what is Gretchen?" Lazlo asked, although they covered this before. Raj seemed to be wondering this as well.

"She's a reptile!" And there Edward goes, running his mouth. Again.

"Oh… wait… what?" Lazlo asked.

"Ok, let me take this nice and slow so that your teensy wincey minds can comprehend what I'm about to say: Raj equals Mammal, Lazlo equals Mammal, Clam equals Mammal, Gretchen equals Reptile, Me equals Platypus. Got it?" Edward seemed to act like he was talking to two year olds, and really believed they were.

Not like he was any smarter.

"Got it." Lazlo and Raj said in unison.

"Good. Now Raj, why did you even mention Gretchen should like Clam? You mean she doesn't?"

"Well, it is really none of your business, mister _Platypus_, but if you must know, Gretchen likes you. Pasty told me, and- MEEP!" Raj clamped his mouth shut with his hands before he continued. That was probably meant to be kept a secret.

Edward stood there, looking almost shocked, but his face then softened down to his regular irritated look.

"Whatever."

Edward started back to camp, walking like he normally does... except... it was just a little different... a little... sa-

"Edward, where are you going?" Lazlo asked following behind him.

"Back." Edward replied

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really really?"

"Really really."

"Really really REALLY?"

"YES! REALLY! I AM GOING BACK TO CAMP!" Edward had turned back to face the now inches away Lazlo. He panted a little, and glared at the funky monkey.

"Ok." Lazlo smiled.

Edward stared at the happy Lazlo, took a deep breath then let it out into the form of… what do you call it?

A sigh?

Anyways, Edward glared at him and opened his mouth to say:

"I really hate you Lazlo."

"Really?"

"Really."

Then he walked off.

Raj and Clam went to stand next to Lazlo. Clam glared at Raj.

"Ehh, nice going." Clam said glaring at his pink friend.

"I am sorry, Clam. Sometimes I just blurt things out." Raj replied, looking genuinely sorry.

"What are you guys talking about?" Lazlo was clearly confused.

"Clam. He- he likes Gretchen."

"Gretchen…" Clam looked at that ground sadly, knowing all hope was lost. Gretchen could never learn to like him.

Lazlo looked at his sad buddy and sighed.

"I feel for ya, brotha'. I feel for ya."

And…

He sounded like some hippy.

**XOXO**

**Eight pages. EIGHT! Usually, they're just, like, three! But this one was EIGHT! SQUEE!!**

**Well, this chapter is the start of the romance. Like… all the other chapters didn't matter too much, compared to this one.**

**So…**

**Edward now knows Gretchen likes her. What now? Hopefully something juicy. I like juicy. And spicy. And sweet... and... and... I dunno!**

**But MAN, it took a while to make this chapter decent though... I'm trying to cut back with my constent use of enter because it spaces things out waaaaaaayyyyy too much. The original version of this story was like, enter every word.**

**Oh yea, I kept my promise! It's super duper long!**

**-M.L.**


	6. An Acorn Caused This

**Welcome back, my friends! This is the sixth chapter and I hope your in a reading mood 'cause it's gonna be LONG! So, sit back, enjoy the ride, and get your EdwardXGretchen THANG on!**

**(Oh yea! Don't forget to tell EVERYONE about this story and to read and comment it! A simple 'good story' will suffice! –Is hit by ball for being irritating about comments-)**

**Can of Disclaimer: I actually never get tired of this. xD I own I Hate You, The XOXO, a Jacket, and two REAL rings.**

**All I know that Joe owns is Camp Lazlo.**

**And a monkey.**

**Yea.**

**XOXO**

"So! Scoutmaster! You have some VERY talented beans."

"Thank you, Miss Doe."

The smell of flowers was drifting in the air as the two camp leaders chatted amongst themselves (What did you think I meant by 'talk' in the last chapter, huh? Perverts.). Oh, how the room was drenched in items of pink, baby blue, and any other colors of the female persuasion. The room had miles and miles of "How To" and beauty books and magazines, and various photos scattered here and there, including the occasional childhood memories. Oh, how she longed to relive those time. But, that is another story, for another time. For now, we watch and listen the conversation between the two.

"Oh, I do wonder how they are able to have such good manners!" Jane took a sip of her tea before she continued with her sea of constant complements. "My girls always seem to be running off and doing, well, who knows what!" She laughed uneasily as she set her cup down the her petite coffee table.

"_Peh… good manners… that'll be the day…_" Lumpus smirked at the joke he had just made, no matter how bad it was.

"What was that?" The purely oblivious Jane stared with an almost blank smile at the large moose thing.

"Oh, nothing my dear!" He smiled sheepishly at the thought of Jane understanding his deepest, innermost thoughts, which he rarely ever had.

"If you insist." The grin so firmly plated on her skin smoothened as she heard the soft voices of scouts calling for their scoutmaster, realizing then how dark it had grown. "Oh, deary me! Scoutmaster, I'm afraid we have been talking much too long. It's already six 'o clock! I need to check on all my scouts, as should you. Good bye!" And before the scoutmaster could say anything, she had left to do the job she has done for the years. He stared longingly at the door for several minutes before three scouts burst through doors, calling his name.

"Scoutmas- Oh, hello Scoutmaster Lumpus!" It was Lazlo, Clam, and Raj, smiling their smile that smiles so smiley that it was impossible to smile a smile bigger than those smiles.

…

Smile.

"Hello, Lazlo." He seemed too moan out that sentence as he rolled his eye drudgingly. Oh, how he hated those three little nitwits. Especially that monkey, Lazlo. "What do you want?" He seemed to only half care, as he fiddled with his thumbs, trying to avert his gaze from the annoying threesome.

"We came to pick you up! The big yellow ball in the sky has gone to bed already!" Oh, how oblivious Lazlo was to the world around him. How I fear the answers he would give in college.

The Scoutmaster sighed as he rubbed his forehead from the immense pain those three inflected on his head. He never could understand them, and he feared if he did, he would go insane.

"_I need a vacation…_" He mumbled as he slowly dragged his weary body out of the house and away from the Jellys.

"Scoutmaster?" Lazlo peered from behind the door as the crazed moose walked into the forest, "Hey! Wait up! Scoutmaster Lumpus!"

The calling continued all the way into the forest, until it faded into nothingness.

XOXO 

Ah, tomorrow, how we love thee. At least, only on the weekends. Or on summer. Which it is.

The Fava Cabin ooed and awed at the shiny trophy Edward had won the day before. It was delivered mysteriously by a stranger of sorts, which someone supposedly saw.

"Gee, Edward. I wish I had a nice, shiny trophy like yours." It was Chip, one of the two Dung Beetles, who along side with Skip, lives with Edward.

"Me too!" Skip was leaning over the trophy, dazzled by the shininess it gave off by just the smallest bit of light. He was about to drool, but not on Edwards watch.

"Hey, back off. I don't want 'cha drool getting' all over my trophy! Got it?"

"Got it!" Chip and Skip spoke in unison. "We think…"

Edward rubbed his forehead as he left his cabin, but not before threatening them if there was a single scratch on his precious trophy, he would- well, you get the picture.

"The things I have to put up with day after day…"

"Hey! Edward!" The young platypus turned to face Dave and Ping-Pong, the obvious loon brothers that worked on The Daily Bean, or something like that. It looked like they were in work mode, with their small, white pads and huge, black, rimmed hats. Quite an odd couple. They once pranked Edward, and I don't believe he's gotten quite over that.

"What do 'ya want, you buffoons?" A glare was the only thing he generally could make, but this one was genuine.

Yea. He was still sore.

"Congratulations on the new trophy." Dave was circling the fuming platypus as Ping-Pong held out his pad. "Tell us--what did you do to cheat your way to victory?" Dave stopped next to his brother, both heads stretching to meet eye to eye with Edward.

"I didn't do nuthin'. I won fair and square." He pushed the necks out of his way and started back on the dirt road that lead to absolutely nowhere. They stared at the platypus of pain, and grinned devilishly.

"Oh realllllyyy?" Really was dragged on particularly long, causing Edward to flinch.

'_Here it comes…_' It's always the same thing with them. You say no; they say yes. You say right, they say left. They always do the opposite of what you say. Either that, or they're just really pushy.

"Did you use a base-ball bat?"

"A base-ball?"

"A bat AND ball?"

"Oh, good idea, brother!"

The supply of idiotic ideas was overflowing, but the last one they both said, at the exact same moment, was the stupidest of all.

"You _flirted…?_" The back of the head was all they could see, but that's all that they needed. They could tell they had made something snap, and it wasn't a twig.

Edward sighed. He stopped close enough to the pole in the middle of the camp to lean against it. "Do you guys wanna know something…?" He whispered out with a menacing smirk.

"Yes." Dave and Ping-Pong said, leaning in to their 'friend'.

"Do you really wanna know?" His voice lowered as he spoke, but it was quite the opposite with the Loons.

"Yes? YES?" Closer and closer they came to the creepy platypus.

"You suuuure…? It could change life. As. We. Know it…!" The more yarn tyou spin, the bigger the… fish to fry? I seriously don't know…

"Life as we KNOW IT-" They cried with excitement and glee, but Edwards hands kept them from continuing.

"Shh shh shh! No one but you can know…! Promise not to tell…?" Edwards smirk kept growing with each word he spoke.

"Pwomise!" Managing to speak while their mouths were covered was neat. Edward released their mouths from his grip, but not before checking to see that their hand were crossed behind their backs.

"Good." He grinned. "Now…. The secret is…" Their faces were next to his mouth, sweat dripping from every inch of their body, even from their… well, you know where. Edwards voice softened each word, but especially soft on his last sentence of the day to them.

"That you guys…"

"Yes…? Yes?"

"Are a BUNCH OF IDIOTS!" Edward stormed off at this, leaving the two dumbfounded Loons where they lay. Staring at Edward, they giggled with excitement. They knew he was hiding something now.

"HEY! EDWARD! WAIT UP!" They got on their feat and chased their story of the year. They knew this was going to be big.

**XOXO**

Oh, Lunchtime. Usually Edwards's sanctuary; his palace of peace, his building of quiet, and hate to all things camp related. But, alas, twas not meant to be today. Today, everyone crowded around him asking him all kinds of questions about the trophy of… trophyness. It's not that Edward didn't like the attention; it's just they were all asking how he cheated. But Minutes went by of the constant insults, and there's only so much one Platypus can take of people attacking him again and again, and Edward was not the patient type.

"I. DID _NOT_ **CHEAT!!!**" Edward slammed his feathery hand on the wooden table. Silence quickly filled the air, with one last blow of the eerie wind that is Camp Kidneys. Moments passed before he caught his breath and left the room. And the sound of the slamming doors were the only things that echoed through the room. But, Kidney campers get bored, as the things of the past drift past their memories on the winds of time.

"Tch… the only reason I stay at this camp is because-"

"Edward…?" Edward turned to face the thing that had called his name. No one was there.

"Down here!" Edward stared down. It was an acorn.

'_Great… now I'm going crazy. Really, Edward, talking to dumb 'ol acorn?_' He sighed as he started to walk off, pretending that never happened. Of course, fate wouldn't let it be.

"I HEARD THAT! And I'm let you know I am no dumb old acorn. I'm Veronica." Edward than remembered that soft, sweet voice. He should, since he's the one who made it up.

"Veronica. Please. She's a-" He stopped in his tracks remembering how dolls are to be stupid. "Action figure. Not an acorn."

"This is just one of my few forms, Edward."

"What's that supposed 'ta mean?" Edward was now on his knees hold the small nut thing in his hands, giving it an odd look.

"Well, I don't really exist, so this is all really in your head."

"I knew I was going crazy…"

"LET ME FINISH." A few moments of nothingness began as Edward could feel the glare of the acorn- I mean, Veronica. "Ok, good. Now, I am usually portrayed in the shape of a doll, but you can't carry that thing anywhere, so I come to you now in the shape of an acorn. You can talk to me anytime you need to if you carry this acorn around."

"One question"

"Yes, Edward?"

"HOW CAN I TALK TO AN ACORN?!"

"How can you talk to a doll, Edward?"

"… Ok, you got me." Edward let out a sigh of defeat and picked up the tiny object. "Sorry about this, Veronica." He felt the acorns confused look before he wound his arm up and threw he across the ocean, "BUT I'M NOT TALKIN' TO AN ACORN!" He watched it soar across the sky until it disappeared. "And that, is that." He patted his hangs together as if finishing a dirty job and walked off.

**XOXO**

"Ow!" The small cry came from a squirrel scout, sitting at the docks. She saw an acorn next to her. "Bean Scouts…" She growled as the small item was scooped up into her hands, and she stomped her green body to the thick forest.

"Gretchen? Where are you going? Gretchen?" It was a small owl that had spoken. Her name was Almondine, and she was a Squirrel Scout. Shrugging off the quite irritated alligator tromping into the dangerous passageway between camps, she continued with her reading a beauty magazine.

**XOXO**

Edward was sitting on the steps of his cabin door, boredom consuming. He didn't particularly care, but the wonder of where everybody was lingered in the back his head, like fishys nibbling on your toes when you standstill long enough in beach water. You know it's there, but you just don't feel like doing anything about it.

Then he felt it.

A small amount of pain struck his left temple as he came face to shell with the acorn he had just thrown, and he could tell it was in a pleasant mood.

"You! I had just-"

"Thrown me, yes. But before I chew your head off, you've got bigger fish to tango with."

"What the heck does that me-" But before Edward could finish his sentence of 'joy' he then understood what Veronica meant.

"You know this acorn?" It was Gretchen: The green jerk of Acorn Flats. The alligator of hate and pain, and the girl that…

That likes him.

"You could say that. Were getting married." Edward smirked.

"Edward, what the HECK are you saying were not getting marri-"

'_Quiet, Veronica._' And Veronica was quiet, growling the whole time though.

"Getting married to an acorn? Please. You get more pathetic each day." She snorted at the smiling Platypus.

"It doesn't bother you?"

"N… no. Of course not. Why would it?" Gretchen stuttered on that word, for reasons Edward thought he knew.

"Please. You can stop it with your terrible acting." Edward stopped his menacing smile. He was completely serious.

"W-what do you mean, idiot?" She was truly confused and afraid. '_Does he… know?_'

"C'mon. Everybody knows you like me." Edward stood at that, looking down on her.

Gretchen's heart stopped. He knew. But who could have told him? Who could of told the man of he dreams- er, the jerk she sorta liked that she love- liked him? Who?

"Wh-who'd you hear that big lie from?" She tried so hard to keep her cool. After all, it's hard for a girl to know the guy likes doesn't like him back, and what better to do than pretend it was a lie?

"Oh, you know it's no lie, but if you must know, he's pink. He's an elephant. And…" A long pause happened as a raindrop fell on his hat and leaned into her ear.

"He's a wimp." That whisper rang in her ear for the longest time. She knew who it was.

'_Raj._' Her eye widened as she ran off to the Jelly cabin. She was going to kill him. She swore she was going to kill him.

"Edward, why were you so mean to her? I know you li- Ed…ward?" Edward was sitting on the stairs, face left with no emotion. It was almost as if he died. Veronica knew, this just wasn't the time.

**XOXO**

"Clam, how long are you going to sulk? Edward may not even like her!" Raj was peering at his friend covering his body in his blanket.

"Mean Edward. Take Gretchen!" Clam glared at his pink idiot of a friend. Lazlo was desperately trying to solve a horseshoe problem, since he had nothing he could say to Clam but cheer up. Which he did, but Clam snapped at him.

"Humph… no wonder you are going extinct. You are a very stubborn creature." Raj crossed his arms and glared at the Pygmy Rhino

"What Raj say?" Clam shot up glaring at his pink friend.

"Oh, YOU heard me, Mister Extinct!" Raj said sticking his tongue out.

"OCD! OCD!" Clam yelled

"Clam, you do not even know what that means! Besides, that is Sampson!"

"Eh… stupid head! Stupid head!"

"OH YEA?! WELL… EXTINCT!"

"STUPID HEAD!"

"EXTINCT!

"STUUUUUUUUUUUPID HEAD!"

"STUBBORN EXTINCT!"

"STUPID POOPY HEAD!"

This continued on for a while until there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Lazlo cheerfully hopped from his bed to go greet the person at their cabin door. But, as you know it, Gretchen waits for no monkey. The door was slammed open, Lazlo was clear across the room, and Raj was off the ground before he realized it.

"EXTIN- Oh, WOAH!" Raj freaked being lifted by Gretchen. He knew it usually lead to pain. "DON'T HURT ME!" He cringed in fear.

"WHO TOLD YOU?!" Gretchen was screaming in his face. Oh, how she now hated that pink, pink face.

"T-told me what?! What I d-do?!" Sweat was coming out of every possible place. He just wanted to get it over with, or not have it happen at all.

"WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT ME LIKING EDWARD?!" She glared at him. She could tell he was about to wet his pants in fear, but it's not she was holding him _there_.

"P-Patsy told m-me! I'm so soooooooooorrrrryyyyy…!" That's when he passed out, and his mouth filled with foam. Gretchen threw him on his bed and ran out.

"Mpph… Raj scardy cat…" Clam was poking his chicken of a friend. Lazlo giggled a little, too.

**XOXO**

Gretchen ran to the pouring rain. Each dropped stung against her face as the warmth left her already cold-blooded body. The forest help shade her from the downpour, but every part of her body was scratched by twigs, thorns, and anything else you could think of that was in a forest. Creatures watched from afar, they saw the desprete girl trying to escape. Trying to be free.

She fell in some mud.

But doing a very bad job at it.

It felt like hours when it was only minutes when exited the forest and passed by the drenched, but still reading, Almondine. She didn't care. All that mattered was getting to Her cabin now, and fast. She could see her cabin.

She was finally there.

The door slammed open, both Nina and Patsy stared, and Gretchen stood there dripping wet.

"Ewww, Gretchen, what happened to you?" Patsy asked looking at her melodramatic friend.

"YOU happened to me!" Gretchen grabbed her friend by the neckerchief, glaring through the innocence that was clearly plastered on the pink Mongoose.

"W-what do you mean?" Patsy was desperately try to calm down her freaking buddy.

"YOU TOLD RAJ! How could you? You KNOW how secret that was! You KNEW that I only told you because I TRUSTED YOU! But now… now…" Gretchen let her like silk through her fingers; a weakness came over her legs, and collapsed to the cold, concrete hard floor. Tears stung her face against the open cuts, no matter how small. But was it really the cuts?

"How could you…"

Or knowing that you best friend betrayed you?

**XOXO**

**Oooooo. The drama. And, YAYNESS! ANOTHER SUPER LONG CHAPTER! And this one is even LONGER than the last, if you take into account how much more things were bunched together and it's also nine pages. WHEEE! But I'm really hoping to make all my chapters this length, OR longer.**

**This chapter I was trying to be on the more descriptive side with an elegant flare, but I think I failed miserably. XD Well, I dunno, so your gonna have to tell me!**

**Until next Tuesday!**


	7. Hello, My Name is

**I. AM. ALIVE!!! I am writing now, and I planned to have done a three chapter update, which I have decided against 'cause my loyal readers deserve better then that!**

**Anyways, this story is now out of Hiatus(Somewhat), and you can get out of your emo corner now. ONTO THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Can of Disclaimer: I own Joe, Joe owns me… I mean, I own I Hate You, Joe owns Camp Lazlo. ONTO THE STORY!**

**XOXO**

Oh, summer days. How beautiful they are. Everyday, the sun shines brighter than before, and everyday, children scamper around screaming their heads off while racing off to the Acorn Flats pool to cool off in a pleasant dip and wash away all the stress of every day. But of course, like it always is in my intros, that is not the case for three special campers.

"C'mon Gretchen, I said I was sorry."

"Humph."

It was Patsy, Gretchen and Nina in their cabin lounging around. Nina propped up on her pillows sitting cozily on her bed reading a 'fascinating' book. Patsy, on the edge of her bed, stared apologetically at Gretchen. And Gretchen, well, she was curled up in her bed, covers over her, staring at the wall. It had been like this ever since yesterday. Ever since… _he_… found out.

"Gret-cheeeeennnn…!" Patsy had been at this for quite some time. Gretchen was quite determined to pout and be her bratty little self again. Maybe it was a good thing he found out. Maybe then she wouldn't have so much aggravation.

"ARGH! I don't want to think about it!" A pillow covering her head, Gretchen was face down in her bed, trying to clear all thoughts in her mind. She remembered that time when she had to go down to that Temper Tee-Pee. She remembered her 'happy' place. She tried going back there and succeeded. Slowly she drifted away from the planet Earth, and into planet Gretchen. She saw the bulldozer and everything, including McMusly and the driver of the machine. '_Edward…_' Earth came back to her at a breakneck pace, it caused her heart to leap from fear of impact, and fall from her very fortress.

"Gretchen?" Patsy and Nina had their heads over Gretchen's sweating body. Panting, her focus came back to only face her two 'friends'. A slight yelp escaped from her lips as she jumped from her spot to the wall of which greeted her with a loud thud.

"Gretchen, you okay?"

"Perhaps she has been possessed by the evil Flargon Whiler. It is an evil alien known to take the body of a girl and make them do what they please. They like to toss us around most, though, so it is quite a painful experience." Nina nodded slowly, tightly grasping a book titled "The Girl Who Was Possessed by a Flargon Whiler". It was oddly colored with reds and yellows and browns, but on with the story.

"Nina, I highly doubt that Gretchen's possessed. We've been with her all day!" Patsies' arms were thrown up as she spoke the last sentence.

"But what about all of yesterday?"

Patsy gasped quiet loudly, "You're right!" Hands grasped tightly on Gretchen's arms, a violent shaking coursed through the Alligators body. "Gretchen! Snap-out-of-it! You-are-po-ssessed! Li-sten-to-me!" Gretchen swiftly grasped Patsy's arms and detached them from her body.

"I'm not possessed! Besides, who gave you permission to touch me?" Gretchen haste fully plopped down on her bed and covered herself again. She was being stubborn, but she wanted to be. She was mad at her.

"Well, she said she isn't possessed Nina…" Patsy, unsure, looked over to the giraffe.

"Don't believe her. There's only one way to prove if she's possessed or not." Nina looked at Patsy. An ominous feeling filled the room; Patsy knew what she meant.

"You mean…?" Nina's head nodded slowly. "Prepare the victim."

Gretchen finally had noticed the feeling that had entered the room. Chills were sent down her back, as she turned, only to see the horrible truth of what was about to happen. It was a bucket. A single bucket. But that wasn't important. What was important was what came out of the bucket. A brown substance came closer and closer. Mud. Before she could fully realize what has happened, she was covered in it.

"Evil beast leave this body!" Patsy and Nina, both hands on the mud bucket, cried out trying desperately to help their friend and set her 'free'.

Sputtering, Gretchen managed to get a few words out, "WHAT THE-" She spat more mud out, "-THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!" Sitting up, the dirt slowly dripped down her face. She could see them both give a sigh of relief when they heard her screaming. "Well?" She demanded.

"We were trying to free you." Patsy stated.

"From what?" Gretchen was still glaring.

"From the Flargon Whiler." Nina said in a matter of fact tone.

"The Flargon what?" Gretchen, confused started trying to brush off the mud still on her scaly skin.

"The Flargon Whiler. An evil space monster that possesses you and makes you do what they please. Of course, your fine now." Nina had pulled her book back out to so a poorly done illustration of a Flargon Whiler.

"It looks like a puff ball." Gretchen poked at the book, not quite sure how to fear a poorly done picture of a puffball. "A puffball drawn with crayon." A long silence filled the room as Gretchen pointed this out.

"Ahem, yes, well no one has actually gotten a photo of one." Blushing, Nina quickly shut the book and put it away.

"O… kay…" Gretchen's eyes softened from a glare, to looking a little unsure. It would have lasted longer if mud hadn't dripped from her head onto her eye. "You know what, forget this. I'm taking a shower." Gretchen jumped from her spot and started to the showers. Nina and Patsy looked at each other before going after their irritated friend.

**XOXO**

Gretchen, back in her uniform after her long shower, was drying her hair with the blow dryer their cabin shared.

"So, feeling any better after that shower?" Patsy questioned Gretchen as she peeked over her shoulder.

"No." Gretchen stated that word plainly, and just kept drying her hair, not even looking at her.

"Oh… are you planning to?"

"No"

"Oh…" A silence filled the air, except for the noise of the blow dryer. A few minutes went by, and it turned off with a click. Then that's when a thought entered Patsy's mind.

"I know what'll cheer you up!"

"You not existing anymore?"

"No, silly! Something better then that!" Patsy grabbed Gretchen by the collar and started dragging her.

"Oh great… I'm shaking with excitement." Gretchen's bored look had been permanently painted on her face.

"_You had better be…_" Patsy mumbled that getting very tired of Gretchen's attitude.

"What was that?" Gretchen looked up at her, glaring.

"Oh, nothing, nothing!" Patsy patted Gretchen's hair before running off with Gretchen dragging behind. "Come on, Nina! Hurry up!" Nina looked around unsure clutching yet another book.

"Ohh… this isn't going to end well…" Nina then ran off after them.

**XOXO**

"Alright, here we are!" Patsy let Gretchen go, a smile flourishing on her mongoosey face. Gretchen stood up brushing off all the dirt that collected on herself while being dragged.

"Where in the name of Sam's heck are we?" She glared as she then realized where Patsy had taken her. "Wait… our lunch hall?"

"Mmm hmm." Patsy nodded slowly.

"Okay… why?"

"'Cause it's 'All You Can Eat Steak' day today! You love meat of any sorts! Aren't you even a little hungry?" Patsy pleaded with her, hoping that just a little of what she said got through to her. A grumbling escaped from Gretchen's stomach.

"No." Determined, Gretchen refused to lighten her mood. Every time she has meat, she gets… not as… mad.

Patsy glared sharply, refusing to give up. "Not even a teensy wincey bit?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"'Cause."

"'Cause why?"

"Well… why aren't _you_ hungry?"

"Because I just ate."

"Why?"

"Because I was- Oh, never mind!" Patsy Grabbed Gretchen's collar and started off again. Nina had just arrived at the scene that the two used to be at, but she had gotten distracted by a spider sucking the juices slowly and painfully out of the body of a single, helpless fly. She could hear it's little screams of terror as it's agonizing torture continued until it screamed one last scream, as it's life slipped away from it's tiny, tiny body.

That's not an odd thing to stop for.

…

Right?

"Guys! Wait up for me!"

**XOXO**

"Where are we now?" Gretchen some how had been blindfolded while being dragged and couldn't see a thing, and was actually kind of anxious to see where her second location had been.

"Why don't you look and see?" Patsy removed the bandana, revealing the most magnificent view of both camps and Leaky Lake.

"Where the heck are we?" Gretchen looked over to Patsy, disgusted by how happy Patsy seemed to be.

"Were at Lovers Ledge." A dreamy sigh escaped from her.

"Ummm…" Gretchen, wide eyed started scooting away, "I hate to break it to you Patsy, but I'm no g-"

"What? Ew! No! I'm sorry, that's not really its name, I just was hiking one day and discovered this hidden view. I named it Lovers Ledge because of Laaazzzllloooo….!" She swayed side to side, love struck of the thought of that wonderful little monkey who was so optimistic almost 24-7. "I often dream of coming up here and imagine Lazlo proposing to me on this very spot…!" She squealed gleefully as she tried to contain her, but was jumping slightly. Gretchen started to scoot off a bit further.

"I'm… going to go now. _Weirdo…_" But before Gretchen got anywhere she ran into Nina.

"Uh, hi G-Gretchen!" Nina wasn't quite used to running up a steep hill, and was panting slightly. A grunt was all that Gretchen said in response as she walked down the hill. Then it hit her.

"Okay, how the heck do I get out of here?" She turned to face a devilish Patsy, and a still winded Nina.

"Only I know the way." Patsy walked over to Gretchen and got up in her face.

Moving her head slightly, she got a view of the second person that knew about getting in and out of here. "Nina?"

"Just go through those bushes and then walk down on the regular path. You can't miss it." Nina pointed clearly at two bright green that apparently had just been planted there, "Patsy put those there so no one could find this spot."

"Whatever…" Gretchen tried to push through the bushes, but her Neckerchief got caught on something. Well, maybe more of a _someone…_"ACK!" Gretchen, caught by surprise, fell back from the sudden jerk

"NO! We are not done with you just yet! YOU WILL BE HAPPY!" Patsy, still having Gretchen's Neckerchief tightly in her hand, started off again refusing to give up on her friend no matter how ridicules she was acting.

"Here we go again…" Nina sighed as she ran over two Patsy and Gretchen, who, at this point, were both acting a little ridiculous.

**XOXO**

Three hours of searching for something that would make Gretchen happy, three hours of dragging a 150-pound alligator, three hours of chasing Patsy and Gretchen, three hours for absolutely nothing. Gretchen was still pouting, Nina was dying from breath loss, and Patsy… well, Patsy was thirsty.

"Hey, Nina, I'm going to go get a drink, you want to come?"

"No thanks, P-patsy…. I-I'm really t-t-tired and w-would like to res-" Of course, Patsy wasn't listening.

"Okay! Great! Let's go!" She stood Nina upright and started walking off. Nina sighed.

"It's always like this…" And off Nina went, once again, chasing after Patsy. Of course, Gretchen was left all alone waiting. She didn't really care.

"The further away from them the better." Of course, she didn't know she wasn't alone. She felt a slight tap on her shoulder, and started to turn. "Geez, you guys are the fastest drinkers I kno- AHHHHHGH!!!" Gretchen jumped in the air when she saw who it was. "Your that freaky yellow thing that was so obsessed with me! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!"

"Eh, Name Clam."

"What?"

"Name Clam."

"WHAT? Speak English! I don't understand Freak!"

"NAME CLAM!"

"ARGH! DID YOU NOT-! Wait… are you trying to say your name is Clam?"

"Yes."

"Okay, weirdo…" Gretchen stood and started brushing off the invisible dirt that never landed on her.

"Eh, cheer up…" Clam pulled a small daisy out and handed it to Gretchen, just before he ran off.

Staring at the flower she was just given, she looked up to where Clam ran off to, then looked back down at the flower, then up, then down, up, down, up down up down up down until she was dizzy. She put a hand on her head to stop the world from shaking, but even then it took about a minute to regain her balance.

"Okay… What. The heck."

"Hey! Gretchen!" Patsy was waving next to a very hyper Nina.

"Hey." Gretchen raised her hand then put it back down and walked over to her two friends.

"You'll never guess what happened in there- wait, did you just say hey?" Patsy stopped in her tracks, shocked at this sudden change in attitude.

"Yes. Hey. As in a call to attract attention, an exclamation to express exultation… or surprise."

"Yea yea, I know that, but recently you've been so mad at me that you wouldn't say anything at all, or even aknowledge our presence!"

"Oh yea…"

"So… what happened?" Patsy sat next to Gretchen, curious as to what would blow such feelings of hate out of her mind.

"Nothing…"

"It doesn't seem like nothing. Tell us…!"

"I said it was nothing!" Gretchen glared at Patsy who was leaning torwards her.

"C'mon! You can trust us!"

"I. Said. **NO!!!**" The strength of that yell knocked Patsy over.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Oh yea! I was about to tell you what happened over there. I think I'll call it the Soda Incident…"

"Yea?"

"Well, it all started when we went inside to get a drink. So…"

**XOXO**

It was nighttime again, all three girls all cozy in their pajamas, snuggled deep under their blankets; All three doing something different while waiting for lights out. Nina was reading again, Patsy writing in her diary, and Gretchen… well, she laid on her back, staring up at the flower she had received.

'_Eh… cheer up.'_

"Why does he care...?" Gretchen sat the flower in a vase and then turned on her side and thought about all that happened today. She did realize she was acting a little like a child, but she wouldn't admit it.

Jane Doe had just walked into their cabin, telling them all good night and sleep tight. That they all have a big ahead of them. And as she fell asleep, Gretchen's heaad filled with thoughts of the day before, thoughts of Edward, and just as she was in the land of dreams, she felt the warmth of a single tear slip down her face.

**XOXO**

**Okay, never mind the three chapter update I had in mind. You readers deserve a new chapt now! And I promise I'll try and get a new one after this one ASAP(Whatever that means)! And the ending was too Emo for Gretchen and OOC and what not, so now I receive flames because of it...**

**BUT WHO CARES? I UPDATED!**

**So please review and tell me how you think, 'cause I'm itching to know!**


	8. One Freaky Dream

**Well, I got me a chapter out. Not much to say 'cept I'm sorry I didn't get one out sooner. Life and stuff gets me 'caught up and what not. I'm going to an Anime Convention, so the costume has been top priority. And school.**

**I like math. Seriously.**

**Anyways… Can of Disclaimer: I own this story and Joe owns everything else. I kiss the ground he walks on, and curse that I don't have a show of my own. Bleh. NOW READ AND ENJOY!!**

**XOXO**

"_(Yawn)" _A loud yawning noise rang throughout the halls, Edward sat there, no clue how he got there in the first place. Everything was pitch black; he could see nothing. Yet surprisingly, he could see himself very well. Almost as if he was glowing…

"_Where the heck am I?"_ Edward yawned again, exhaustion consuming his body. Everything seems faint, almost surreal. Almost as if everything was here, yet nothing at the same time. It confused him. Almost as quick as time itself, he found himself in a room of white, the sounds of screaming from a woman and the sight of his father holding his mothers hand. He was there, yet he wasn't. Edward was watching his own birth.

It was an odd feeling, the way he just came through with no effort, like butter being spread on toast. He couldn't believe the way he looked. So small, so gentle, like the world stopped for a moment, just to look at him and marvel his beauty. He reached his hand out, he wanted to touch himself, but something was wrong. Edward could tell, long before the doctors began to panic.

"What's going…""The baby isn't breathing!"

Edward stood there watching himself being taken off to who knows where. _"So… this was my birth?"_ He looked around, the room was empty, things began to fade away, one by one. Edward didn't seem to feel panicked by the changes going on around him, he felt in a daze. The room changed to a day Edward could never forget. He was two, he wasn't sure what happened, but all he remembers was him being in a car, and accident, and then it was blank. Like his mind erased it on purpose. Edward still remembered the smell of gas, the screeching of the tires, the sounds of the ambulance.

"_I don't want to hear this!"_ Edward clamped his ears shut and collapsed to his knees. Silence seemed to come after that. His eyes slowly opened, he saw this beautiful field with flowers and everything. He saw himself, five, running towards a flower. What was on the flower was a chrysalis of a butterfly. His five year old self giggled and smiled, awing at natures small wonders.

Edward smiled at himself, he had to admit he was pretty cute back then. But the chrysalis began to break. Edward watched his younger self feel pity on the poor creature, and eventually helped the butterfly break free. How beautiful it looked as it floated away, Edward just watched and watched, smiling from ear to ear, but his smiled began to fade into shock. The butterfly fell to the ground. His younger self panicked, blamed himself, and Edward watched his younger self beat his self up over it, he thought he killed the butterfly. He didn't understand at an age so young. It was only the beginning.

Edward promptly shut his eyes at the sad sight he put himself into. But it was only the beginning. His brothers then became jealous at how Edward was treated because he was the youngest. Day after day Edward was tortured in some small way. Edward saw himself grow sadder and sadder, then angrier. Every birthday his friends depleted. Edward watched every mistake that he made in his life. He couldn't take it anymore. _"MAKE IT STOP! __**MAKE IT STOP!!**_On the ground, face down, holding his ears shut, eyes closed, Edward was on the verge of tears when he heard the faint sound of screaming. He looked up to see him pinned on the ground by Lazlo, screaming for help. Other things passed by as Edward began to notice a pattern. Everything good that has been happening to his life was at camp. Despite his hatred for all living things, he actually was at home there, with no worries of his brothers or stupid accidents. He was accepted. He couldn't believe it.

And then he saw it. Images of an alligator began flashing through. Images of Gretchen. _"The heck is this freak show…?"_ Every memory he ever had of Gretchen was there, going by so quickly, yet so slow. He slowly began to stand and closed his eyes as the sounds of laughter, screaming, and overall happiness filled his head. For once in this crazy place, he felt content. _Camp Kidney really isn't half bad…_ But then he heard it.

"Please. You can stop it with your terrible acting."

Edwards eyes snapped open and there he was lying in bed, wide awake, panting slightly, sweat dripping down his brow. He wasn't sure what exactly had just happened, but in any case, he felt hot.

He sat up and tossed his covers over and paced around in the room. _This isn't working. I need a glass of water…_ and off Edward went to get a glass of water. On his way to the latrines, he noticed it was still dark out. The stars shone bright. And interesting constellation was in the sky. One shaped like Gretchen.

Edward stopped, blinked, and shook his head a couple of times and looked back at where he originally saw it, and there was nothing. Just stars.

_Pull it together Edward; it was just a dream._

Edward began to speed up his pace for the simple fact that he was hearing things calling out "Edward…X…Gretchen…4…eva…!"

Now that could ether be Edwards imagination, or the call of the crazed fan-girl author who seriously shouldn't put stuff like that in a story like this.

Finally at his destination, he slammed the door behind he shut and leaned back on it. His mind was playing tricks on him. "There's no way I could remember my own birth anyways… I mean the accident, sure…" Edward lifted up the back of his shirt to reveal a scar the shape of a worm. A medium sized worm. Not a LARGE worm. But not a _tiny_ worm ether. Just a medium sized worm, 'cept grosser and more dramatic but not really that dramatic anymore 'cause of me and my babbling…

I'm seriously gonna shut up now and just tell the story.

"But whatever… who am I talking to, anyways…?"

"Me."

"AGH!!" Edward jumped up and spun around, looking for who had just said that. "W-who's th-there?"

"Me, Veronica! I'm in your pocket." Edward pulled out the small, perfectly shaped acorn out of the pocket of his Pajamas.

"How'd you get in there?" Veronica shrugged. I mean, she would if she could, but she can't. Edward just knew she shrugged. 'Cause she's in his head. Maybe. I dunno! He just knew that she shrugged! Get over it!

Edward sighed and set Veronica on the side of the sink he was using. "What do you want Veronica?"

"I wanna know why you woke up." Edward felt Veronica grimace at him in all seriousness.

"(Sigh) Just a bad dream." Edward turned the faucet on, water then falling out like Niagra Falls. "I don't feel like talking about it."

"Well, why not?"

"'Cause my life is seriously screwed up, that's why." Edward cupped his hands to cradle some of the water falling, then splashing it on his face. It dripped down slowly as he looked at his reflection in the musty old mirror. "Plus, you're an acorn." Edward grabbed a towel and began to wipe his face off.

"Me being a doll also never stopped you talking to me before."

"That was before I was crazy." Edward quickly grabbed the acorn and the stuffed her in his pocket again. He began out of the latrines. "I'm going back to bed."

"Outside?" Veronica raised an eyebrow (If she could), fully knowing what he meant, just teasing him.

"(Sigh) Everyone's a jokester…" And off went a frustrated camper and a snickering acorn went, into the night back to their cabin.

**XOXO**

Meanwhile, Larry Louie Leonard and Liniment were all enjoying a rousing game of checkers.

Larry was winning.

**XOXO**

**YAY! I did the eighth chapter which is…****THREE CHAPTERS LONG! WHEEEEE!! Well, technically it's four, but that's only because of the authors note. But, WHO CARES? I GOT AN UPDATE OUT! Oh, and that chess thing? It meant nothing. I just like Larry. Bleh.**

**Well, please review 'cause I SERIOUSLY need to know what I need to improve on. PLEASE TELL ME!**


	9. Ouch

**Dear Readers,**

**Something has come to my attention in my absence. I have been doing very important research (Lazily watching Camp Lazlo 24/7), and I have discovered Edward is 'OOC', as the hip kids say. So, in this chapter, I will strive to make everyone more in character. Though I will most likely fail miserably. **

**Thank you for your patience and understanding,**

**MuchaLuchaAndMe**

**Bucket and Mop of Disclaimer: I promise, with this mop and this bucket, I will wipe away the Legal Lies of Dirt and show the Shiny Floor of not Lies! Because, I Hate You is mine, and everything else is Joe Murrays. ****Except for this pairing in this story. That belongs to THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED WEB OF FANFICTION!**

**XOXO**

"Ohhhh Laaazzzlllooo!" The birds chirping, the bees singing, and the plants dancing as a mongoose squirrel thing ran over to a certain, clueless, yet absolutely adorable Brazillion Spider monkey. Patsy Smiles smile was bigger then the last one she did. Five seconds ago. The skys were blue, the grass was green, and Lazlo was on the ground.

"Umm, hi, Patsy." He looked up to see Patsy pinning him to the ground, seeing her smiling ear to ear. "Hey, Patsy, do you realize you have REALLY white teeth? It's amazing!" Patsy giggled uncontrollably as she stood up releasing him from her grip.

"Tee hee, thanks, Laazzlloo!" Lazlo stood and smiled, still awing at her teeth.

"How is that even possible for them to be so white? Hey! Raj! Clam! I need to show you guys something!" Raj and Clam were a few feet away, watching two ants wrestle. The sound of their friend calling made them perk up, look the way of the waving monkey, and immediately speed walk over there.

"What is it Lazlo?"

"What?" Clam repeated 'what' right after Raj spoke.

"Look at Patsy!" Raj peered around Lazlo trying to find what was so amazing. He could find nothing. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. He could see Patsy smiling but nothing extraordinary.

"…What am I supposed to be looking for, Lazlo?" Lazlo laughed heartily.

"Your funny, Raj! Lookit Patsys teeth! Look at how white they are!" Lazlo pointed to Patsy excitedly, wanting to show his friends the discovery that he had made.

"Um, Lazlo, your teeth are just as white." Raj saw the two standing side by side, smiling with their perfect teeth that sparkled in the sunlight. "But I guess it IS amazing that your teeth are exactly the same." Raj scratched his head, looking for something to be amazed by.

"Amazing!" Clam exclaimed after Raj.

"Really? Are they the same- Patsy what are you doing?" Lazlo stood, head cocked, eyes squinting. Patsy was hugging Raj tightly turning the elephant a light shade of blue. Raj was shocked, confused and dazed.

"ThankyouThankyouTHANK YOU! That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said!" Patsy was so happy and grateful to him.

"AHH! COOTIES!" Raj squirmed uncontrollably to escape from the acid grip of this female. Patsy, grip still strong, refused to let go. "GET HER OFF! **GETHEROFF!!**" Raj was at the point of fainting when Patsy finally let go. He ran off screaming bloody murder to the nurses office, carrying Clam along with him, trying to save the rhino from a fate worse then death.

"Ha ha, what did Raj say, Patsy?" Lazlo smiled, oblivious to why Patsy was so happy.

"He said our teeth are exactly the same!" Patsy giggled, her face turning pink. _That means Lazlo and me are alike!_ Lazlo didn't get it, but he shrugged it off and started to follow Raj.

_Oh crum! I almost forgot why I came over here!_ Patsy quickly grasped Lazlos uniform with both hands. "Wait, Lazlo!" Lazlo spun around to face Patsy. Her hands let go, and Lazlo saw her face had a look of concern. Patsys eyes lost that shine, and dulled a little. She looked into his eyes, then quickly glanced away.

"What is it, Patsy?" Lazlo raised an eyebrow, confused by her sudden change of mood.

Patsy took a deep breath and looked deeply into Lazlos eyes. "I'm concerned about Gretchen. Shes been…. Acting… oddly." Patsy scratched her head, trying to figure out what words could explain the happenings at Acorn Flats.

"What do you mean, 'oddly'?" Lazlo cocked his head, and furrowed his brow.

"Well… she's been having really extreme mood swings…"

**FLASH BACK**

_Gretchen burst out of her cabin, grinning ear to ear, skipping as the birds sang and the bees buzzed. "Isn't the world just MARVELOUS today?" Nina and Patsy snapped their heads away from the birth of baby spiders to see the odd reaction Gretchen was giving._

_Weirder then anything they've ever seen, she soon burst into tears, "Oh, who am I kidding?! Everything is over! Why? He'll never love me now!" Gretchen collapsed onto her knees sobbing into her hands. Patsy glanced over to Nina who shrugged and shook her head._

_"…This is all **your** fault!" Gretchen slowly looked up, eyes red and puffy._

_"Exuse me?" Patsy scrunched her eyes as she looked at the hormonally imbalanced alligator._

_"You heard me! This is all your fault! Everything is your fault! Everything wrong in the world is YOUR FAULT!" Patsy stood there mouth agape. She was confused beyond belief._

_Nina poked on Patsy shoulder as they watched Gretchen destroy all plants and bugs by stomping and/or eating them. "Is Gretchen pregnant…?" Patsy glanced over to Nina,_

_"I… I don't know…" Patsy noticed that Gretchen just stopped. Just… stopped. Completely and utterly. Whatever was in her hands or mouth fell and hit the ground. She slowly sat down and began to chuckle. The chuckle then build itself into a laughter, which began into a maniacs outroar. Her pupils became small, and red vains appeared as her eyes grew to a huge size. "It's all over…!" Gretchen fell back on her back and began rolling back and forth as the laughter grew louder and louder. "EVERYTHING IS OVER! AHHH HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!"_

_Patsy and Nina stood there twitching at the scene before them. There Gretchen was, rolling around in the dirt, laughing and yelling random words and sentences; Almost as if she was possessed._

_"I'm… gonna go find Lazlo and see whats going on. Lazlos cute. Cute people… um… know stuff. I think…" Patsy then ran off to Camp Kidney._

_"G-go do… that…" Nina waved her off as she finally gained the curage to attempt to calm their friend down._

**END FLASHBACK**

"Wow. Those are extreme." Lazlos face lightend up in surprise. "I wonder what's going on with Gretchen…"

"Uh, that's why I came here. To ask you what you think." Patsy looked hopefully towards the orange monkey. She was really worried for Gretchen. It was an odd feeling watching Gretchen losing her mind. Whatever was going on, Patsy wanted to know.

"Hmmm…" Lazlo furrowed his brow in thought, working hard to figure out the answer. And hour passed and both of them had sat down already. "Jinkies!" Lazlo raised his finger in exclamation.

"What! What is it?" Patsy stood up, excited, and surprised by the word Lazlo shouted.

"No, wait, that's not right… never mind." Patsy sighed and flopped back on the ground. Two more hours were spent like this, false alarms of ideas, but nothing ever helped. Patsy was beginning to dose off, until she heard the noise of footsteps approaching.

"Eh, Lazlo?" Clam was standing looking down at a frustrated Lazlo. Lazlos head snapped up and looked toward his yellow friend, who at the moment, seemed to be confused.

"Oh, hi Clam!" Lazlo smiled brightly.

"What Lazlo doing?" Clam sat down next to Lazlo, staring all serious like at the monkey.

"We're trying to figure out whats wrong with Gretchen…" Patsy sighed deeply, her eyes looked at Clam hopefully. "Do you know?"

"Eh… time of month?" Clam asked rather bluntly for such a personal question.

"What? Gretchen? She is having it already? Not fair!" Patsy flopped down onto the ground and threw her legs up. "We're the same age! Why does she get it so soon?" Patsy turned her head towards Clam and pouted her lip, wimpering like a sad puppy. Mongoose. Person.

"It no fun. Trust Clam." Patsy sat up looking at Clam in shock and confusion. Her eyes widened, her blood ran cold, the hair on the back of her neck stood on ends.

"Clam, your not actually a girl-" Patsy slowly rose a finger, pointing at Clam in confusion.

"SO CLAM HEAR!" Clam quickly intervened, realizing how awkward that sentence sounded. Lazlo sat there, smiling widely, just listening, no clue as to what was going on. Patsy sighed a sigh of a relief and laid back down. A few minutes of nothingness passed before Patsy popped the inevitable question.

"Clam, how do you know all of this?" Patsy once again looked to Clam. He sighed and scratched his head.

"Family Reunion. Clam cousin think Clam girl." Patsy raised an eyebrow at this, "Eh, bad eye sight." Patsy made a slight 'Oooh' mouth movement. Clam stood and turned to a sleeping Lazlo, "Eh, Lazlo leave with Clam? Raj need help." Lazlos eyes snapped open and quickly snapped into standing position.

"Sure thing, buddy!" Patsy sat up and smiled sheepishly.

"Bye Lazlo, bye Clam!" She waved as they began to walk to back to their cabin. "Thanks for your help!"

"Ha ha, bye Patsy! You're welcome!" Lazlo waved goodbye, as Clam just simply waved.

Patsy sat there as the walked away, they had long since entered their cabin. She heaved a sigh and flopped back onto the ground. I wish I got this world… And the sun began to set on the odd day this mongoose had.

**XOXO**

The next day came, the dew softly painted to grass as Patsy's eyes slowly open, she could see the figure of someone but she couldn't tell who. She saw a beaver… no, wait, a Platypus sitting infront of the lake. "Ed-ward…? What is he-" Her question was cut off as she heard the voice of him, talking, softer then usual, but loud enough for her to make out.

"What do you mean 'ya stupid acorn?" Patsy slowly sat up to get a better read of what he was saying. "No! Nuh uh! No way- wait... what?" Edward just sat there for a few minutes, seemingly listening to something. "Yea, so I car why? Oh shut up! Don't insult my mommy!" Patsy snorted, Mommy? Man, and here I thought Edward was some big jerk. Now I know why Gretchen probably likes him- a sudden realization came over Patsy. She began slapping herself in the head. "Dang it, Patsy! Edward is probably Gretchens first crush and he rejected her! No wonder she's having the mood swings!" Patsy stood up thoroughly frustrated, "Hey! Mommas boy!" Patsy stood, glaring down at the surprised Platypus.

"A girl!" Edward quickly stood, but in his confusion and shock tripped over his own feet and fell into the lake.

"You're the one who made Gretchen all screwed up in the head! Don't you realize how sensitive a girls heart is? She fantasizes hours and hours during the day about the one she loves, dreaming that he'd sweep her off her feet and slay the dragon for her and-" Patsy continued on, remembering all the fantasies of Lazlo she's had. Edward sat there in the water, looking in disbelief at this female creature who's mind seemed to only have a 5 second attention span.

"ANYWAYS-" Patsy got back onto the topic at hand, seeing that Edward was trying to sneak away from this obviously insane Mongoose. "you just go and break her heart and be all rude like! You can't even be a gentleman! At least my Lazlo would be nice-"

"Wait- did you just say 'your Lazlo'?" Edward raised an eyebrow at this statement, his body seemed to lighten up slightly, despite how cold the water of Leaky Lake was this morning.

"Huh? Oh, um, eh heh… yes?" Patsy scratched her head, a bit shocked that she said that aloud. Edward began laughing. His laughter began to grow louder and louder as Patsy began to blush redder and redder.

"YOU? And monkey boy?" Edward was holding his sides, and just managed to point at the furious Patsy. "OH, oh give me a minute! This is just too rich!" Edward kept on laughing and laughing until the point he fell onto the ground, in tears. "Lazlo would NEVER like you! He's too stupid to even tie his own shoes, let alone have a crush on some stupid female!" Edward kept laughing and laughing, but what he just said was the last straw. Patsy, on the verge of tears, snapped.

"Edward? I wouldn't do that…" Veronica was laying somewhere in the sand next to him, and Edward only stopped laughing for enough time to reply, "Heh heh, why do you say that, Veronicaaaa-" Edwards voice went to a high pitched squeaky sound as Patsy gave him a quick, swift, but extremely hard, kick in his… eh hem. Particulars. Edward then began to cry in pain as Patsy ran of sobbing.

"See? Now you've broken yet another girls heart, and you won't be able to walk for 3 days." Veronica sighed the best an acorn could as she waited for Edward to man up and get over the pain.

**XOXO**

**Just so you all know, I'm crazy. Just a heads up. Oh, and just so you all know, what Patsy and Clam were talking 'bout was something called a chicken.**

**So yea.**

**So, here's another chapter, I'm sorry I'm not updating as much, but I really am trying. I realize that I just gotta pump the story out there, writers block or no writers block. Oh, and I got a pet Camel. His name is Steve. Steve need reviews on my stories to live. PLEASE REVIEW MY STORIES, OR STEVE'LL DIE! AND YOU DON'T WANT STEVE TO DIE, DO YOU?! -Gets taken away by the men in white to the fun padded white room- Oh yea, I also used an obnoxious FLASHBACK-END FLASHBACK for my flashback. Ha ha! xP**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next one should be coming soon. I hope.**

**-M.L.**


	10. Another Dream Chapter?

**Heeeey! It's me! M.L.! I updated(Finally). So… yea. OH! OH! I GOT A WII GAME! IT'S THE MARIO KART! Oh, sorry for any typos.**

**Can of disclaimer: Seriously. I don't own this story. STOP BEING SO GULLIBLE.**

**XOXO**

_Gretchen…_

"Hnh…"

_GRET-chen…_

"Who said that…?"

_Me._

"Wow. Really descriptive."

_What do you expect? A giant smoke ball to explode and the Scout Mistress in the Sky to appear?_

"That'd be nice, yes."

_Don't smart mouth me, kid._

"OI! Who do you think you are? You can't tell me what to do."

_I do what I want, Gretty_.

"Don't call me that. No ones called me that in 3 years. How do you know that name anyways?"

_Well… this is dream, 1. and 2. I be Veronica. I'm pretty sure I've heard your nickname before._

"But I got rid of you three… years ago…"

"Yup." At that word, Gretchen finally got a feel of where she was. It was a grassy field with flowers and butterflies. But despite the fact that this makes no sense as to why she'd be in such a place, what stood out most wasn't that fact that she was wearing a pure white gown, but that fact that there stood one of the most beautiful creatures she's ever laid her eyes on. Veronica. Of course, not the doll shaped figure, but how she imagined she would look like if she was animal.

"So… you are… my childhood doll? And… why are you here?"

"To help you. You know Edward?"

"Yea…?"

"Well, he's my new owner, and-"

"Wait- Edward? You? A DOLL?"

"Yup." A few moments of silence passed, as the background quickly switched from day to night, and vice-versa. An immense laughter finally escaped from the alligators mouth as a smile caressed Veronicas lips as she watched the child heal, even just a little.

A few minutes went on with the laughter echoing throughout the fields. "Umm, Gretchen?" She still kept laughing. "GRETCHEN!"

"Ha ha, w-wh- whaat? AH ha..." She began hiccupping wildly.

"You gotta breath, girl."

"S-sorry! _I am so holding that over his head…_" She wiped a single tear off her face as she struggled to breath, just trying to gain her composure and stand. "So… wh-what were we talking about again? Hee…"

"Edward."

"Oh. Him." A scowl appeared immediately, erasing what happiness could have been traceable over her body.

"So… wanna talk?"

"You wouldn't listen…"

"Test me." And there they sat, just talking, tears and laughs. It was like therapy, except with a good friend. A good friend you haven't seen in forever.

"I really thought I liked him… but he's just some jerk… I'm so stupid." Gretchen fell back, she could feel the tears of hatred on anger at herself caress her cheeks. Veronica scowled.

"THE HECK?" The child jumped at this sudden outburst. "STUPID? TEARS OF HATRED AND ANGER?! What is this?! Some bad attempt at a depressing, dramatic soap for a KIDS show? Give me a break!" The doll/human/platypus/animal threw her arms in the air, grasped Gretchen by the shoulders and pulled her up. "There's nothing wrong with liking him! It doesn't make you stupid or dumb! IT MAKES YOU HUMAN! I mean… uh… IT MAKES YOU- animal? Animal, right! IT MAKES YOU ANIMAL! Pull yourself together! And what makes you think he doesn't like you back?!"

"But he said-"

"SCREW WHAT THAT IDIOT SAID! I've been with him since his mom picked me out of the garbage behind some McDonalds and was re-wrapped and given to him! I should know how his mind thinks! HE'S INSANE. He's a BOY! Do you just expect him to sweep you off your feet and drag you off to some castle where you get married, have a bagillion kids, and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER?! Fight for him, darnit! He won't listen to his heart or use his brain! YOU HAVE TO MAKE HIM! Force his eyes open so he can see that world around him! This is your battle! THIS IS YOUR WAR!" Gretchen was let go as she looked at the doll as she yelled, she felt something building up inside her. Was it… happiness? Perhaps. One things for sure, besides the fact she began smiling, she realized that Veronica was right. Edward was hard headed, just like her. How could she have not seen it before.

"You're right! You're absolutely right!" The alligator stood and grinned. "All this time I expected him to just be all like some girly boy wimp and come running into my arms! How was I so STUPID?" She slapped her head and collapsed onto the grass, a sigh escaping her lips. "Thanks, Veronica."

"No prob, Gretty." Veronica stood there as she, Gretchen and the field around them disappeared, only leaving Gretchen lying in bed, smiling, being peered upon by her cabin mates.

"GUYS!" She sprang out of bed, patted her friends on the back and snarled. "I figured it out!"

"Figured what out?" Patsy asked cautiously, caught of guard by the scaly animal.

"What I have to do!" Gretchen ran out, leaving Nina and Patsy looking out the door.

"WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO?!" Patsy cupped her mouth, screaming as loudly as possible.

"I HAVE TO WIN MY WAR!" Nina and Patsy looked at each other, then back to Gretchen, then back to each other.

"Is she having another hormone attack?" Nina shrugged and shut the door behind him.

**XOXO**

"EDWARD!" Edward was sitting in the sand, talking to Chip and Skip, something about how they never seem to roll around in dung.

"Who?" Edward was snapped around by his neckerchief, causing incredible pain to his neck. "GRETCHEN?" He jumped out of his skin nearly at surprise. "Uh uh- What are you doing? I thought it _hurt_ to be around me-"

"Shut it, duck! I love you, and you will love me to!" She pushed him to the ground and spit, just barely missing his face. "This is my war, and I will win, even if I have to do it by myself!" She ran off, leaving a dumbfounded platypus and two idiots waving good-bye to the so-called 'Edwards Twin'.

**XOXO**

**Ohhh! Plot twist. Actually, it's a plot twist for me too. Something I learned from the creator of Calvin and Hobbes is that keep your mind open; let the story write itself. Now I have no clue how this story will end. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens.**

'**Till next chapter! –M.L.**


	11. Fight!

**An update. Yea.**

**WALL-E! WEE WEE WEE WEE!**

**Disclaimer: I nwo siht yrots. Eoj nwo Pmac Olzal. YAY!**

**OXOX**

"What the heck are you doing?" Gretchen glared down onto Edward. He looked sharply back at the girl, shaking his head and went back to drawing lines in the dirt. She continued to glare. "I _said_ what are you doing?" Gritting her teeth, her words were forced. Still no reply, she hit him quickly over the head.

"Ack!"

"Answer me when I talk to you!" Standing up, Edward shot a glare at her.

"Why should I?" Crossing her arms, Gretchen frowned.

"It's impolite to ignore a girl." Edward sat down again, an obvious look of 'whatever' on his face.

"I think you forgot the fact that you're not a girl…" Kicking him in the back for the comment, Gretchen continued with asking him what he was doing after he gave a loud yelp.

"So what are you doing?" He didn't reply. "What are you doing?" Still no reply. "What are you? Some sorta mime freak? You ARE a freak, aren't you?"

"At least I'm not a stalker…" Edward stood and walked off, leaving Gretchen quite ticked off.

"Oh! OH! What the heck is that supposed to mean? The only thing that's stalking anyone is the nightmare that they have about your horrible insults and how bad they are." Edward twitched.

"Y-yea, well, you like those stupid insults. And the person who says them." He smirked, he was sure he hit a nerve, but Gretchen didn't move, twitch, anything.

"So?" That actually caught Edward off guard for maybe a second. Or two.

"Why doesn't that bother you anymore?!"

"Because I don't care anymore!"

"But I liked being able to make you run home crying!"

"Are you saying that you like me?"

"NO! Why would you think that?!"

"Because that's the point!"

"What's the point?!"

"You are!"

"Who is?!"

"You!"

"You?"

"No, you!"

"Me?!"

"No me!"

"You?!"

"NO! YOU!"

"WHAT ARE WE YELLING ABOUT?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Slapping his forehead, Edward sighed.

"You are so irritating…" Gretchen scoffed at what Edward spoke.

"Not half as irritating as the horrible toe fungus you have…"

"How did you know about that?!"

"I didn't. Not until you told me. Just now." Eyes boiling red, Edward was at the point of killing the alligator whom was smiling smugly.

"If you're trying to make me like you, you're doing a lousy job at it!" Picking some dirt from the ground, he threw it at her. Dust kicked up everywhere, Edward was confident he could walk away without her noticing. His mistake.

"JERK!" Before either of them knew it, they was on the ground, rolling in dirt, throwing various types of punches and kicks. Scratches and bite marks filled their body as the occasional bruise appeared. Rolling and rolling, they were attracting quite a crowd. They didn't notice this at all, though. Gretchen eventually got Edward pinned down. There, they just looked into each others eyes, anger boiling over the critical level, panting from exhaustion.

It took a while to realize what was going on, and they probably never would have if they didn't hear the voices of the other campers talking about how others owe them money, and cheering and/or booing that Gretchen won. Scurrying back to their feat, Gretchen and Edward looked around desperately, trying to identify their surroundings.

"Ha ha! Edward lost to a _girl_!"

"Shut it, Ted!"

"Okay…" Edward looked at Gretchen, scowling. Her look was the exact same.

"You!" They spoke in unison, approaching each other, grabbing each other by the neckerchief. "You did this! It's all your fault! STOP TALKING IN TIME WITH ME!" While yelling, the people around them began whispering.

"_That's the second time they got so close…_"

"_I know! Do you think they like each other?"_

"_Maybe, they're always with each other, arguing like couples on T.V.!_"

"_They __**do**__ look cute together…_"

"_Man, why didn't Gretchen and Edward tell anyone that they were dating?_"Edward was the first to notice this talk, which really, **really** ticked him off. Veins popped as he clenched his fist and gritted his teeth.

"WE DIDN'T TELL ANYONE BECAUSE WE'RE NOT DATING! I don't like Gretchen in any way, shape, or form! I wouldn't even like her if she actually looked good! I WOULDN'T LIKE HER IN A TRAIN, OR IN A PLANE, OR IN A BOX WITH A FOX!"

"I don't not like _**Green Eggs and Ham**_! I do not like them, Sam I Am."

"SHUT UP, LAZLO!" Everyone looked at Edward, a bit freaked out by this outburst. Gretchen just shook her head in amusement to everyone's reaction to how Edward spoke. It was natural for a guy like him to get defensive, right? The tough guy has a reputation to uphold, and having a girlfriend wouldn't help much. Relaxing a bit, Edward began to rub his temples. "I just don't like her."

"But Edward! Your twin says she loves you!" Skip spoke completely brainless, like he was looking into space, just barely focusing on the platypus. Chip began waving his hand like a complete idiot, almost as if he was in a class and he had the correct answer. "Edward! Edward! What's '_love_'? Is it a type of gas?" Edward slapped his forehead and dragged it down slowly.

"Yes, _Chip_. Love is gas." Chip looked to his sibling, letting out a sigh.

"Then I guess I feel love all the time." Skip looked at himself, then back up to Chip.

"I'm getting a bad case of love right now."

"Well, I hope love isn't contagious. I've heard people say they got love sickness."

"Oh yea, I got love sickness once. It smelled nice…"

"Your love always smells nice."

"Thanks Skip." People looked at them as they walked off, going on their oblivious way, talking about 'love' and things of that sort. They looked back to Edward, who was really mad that those two were so stupid. Gretchen was just laughing at Edwards irritation and embarrassment.

"Whoa, she _said_ that?"

"No way!"

"Seriously dude?!" Edward was despretly trying to calm things down as Gretchen was on her knees crying from laughing so hard. Hours seemed to go by as he finally got everything under control. His excuse was that Gretchen ate bad tacos made by Chief McMuslie. Of course, the scouts took this is stride for the fact they know what those tacos can do. Why she was eat camp food wasn't even brought up, though.

Gretchen felt like she ways dying from breath loss. Edward kicked some dirt to her direction, spat out some dirt from their fight from earlier, and walked off. It was night, and Gretchen was still laughing. He was so mad at her right now. For a girl with a crush, she sure stinks at winning a guy over. "I'd like to see her get a date a few years from now…"

**XOXO**

"Chip, Skip, you really screwed me over back there." Slamming the cabin door behind him, Edward walked over to his armoire and pulled his PJs out. Sighing, he lifted his shirt off and began to change.

"Screwed you over? But Edward, we didn't have any nails." Edward rubbed his temples, exhausted by his roommates and Chips idioctic replys.

"You guys are a couple of morons." He finally got fully dressed and cozied up in bed. He lifted his cap up, an acorn falling out.

'_FINALLY you take me out! Do you know how long I've been in there?_'

"_Don't give me that. My day wasn't much fun for me either, Veronica._"

'_I heard… quite some smooth talking you did back there._'

"_Man, that girl has issues…I think she needs mental therapy or somethin'._"

'_Uh huh…_'

"_Don't you agree with me?_"

'_She just sounds like a misguided girl._'

"_Yea, misguided in the head._"

'_So? She's very pretty. She has a lovely smile. Are you sure you feel nothing for her?_'

"_Maybe…_" Edward looked off, looking upset… you know, until he rolled his eyes. "_If I had a thing for psychopaths." _Veronica sighed as he scowled. "_Ain't no girl and her emotions ruining my rep._"

'_What rep?_'

"…_Shut up._" Rolling to his other side so that his back would face Veronica, she sighed once more and rolled her eyes. I mean, if she **had** eyes. She's an acorn. Of course she doesn't have eyes. Heck, why she's still an acorn and not a doll is confusing for me too.

'_Good night, Edward._'

"_Go to sleep._" Edward closed his eyes, but he just couldn't sleep. Maybe it had to do with the fact of Chip and Skip whispering about why Edward was talking to an acorn. And with Chip and Skip their whispering is really whisper. More like talking _somewhat_ softer, but still pretty loudly. With pssts at the beginning.

"_Pssst!_ Skip…! I think Edward's gone insane…!"

"_Pssst!_ I think so too…!"

"Go to **sleep,** Chip and Skip."

"Okay Edward!" They spoke in unison, and as soon as they hit those pillows, they went right to bed. The same could be said for Edward, though.

**XOXO**

**Yay. I updated… God, I am SO TIRED, I wouldn't be surprised if this story was a pile 'o poo in a bucket at the petting zoo… I don't know how much longer I can stand living like this. I feel dead inside… BUT I GET TO SEE WALL-E TODAY! AGAIN! So I feel good and happy!**


End file.
